Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
