Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
