Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
