id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
