Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
