Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
