is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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