Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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