Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
