A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
