she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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