Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
