At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
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