nut hugger
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
