This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We are two peas in an std pod
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
