I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
