so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
