Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
