awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
