Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
