I'm eating all of the evidence.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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