I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
