I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
