There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
