so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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