So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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