Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
