All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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