"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
