TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
