I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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