ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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