I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
