The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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