someone get that fucking seahorse.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
