ugly people sure do ruin things
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
