Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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