Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
