I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
