I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
