My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
