I have demons in me.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
