I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
