If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
