I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
