i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
