Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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