Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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