I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
