3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
