can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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