don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Rumble strips road head = magical
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
